I absolutely ADORED this book. At the beginning I thought it would be somehow similar to “The Cemetery Boys” by Adrian Thomas – ghosts and funeral homes vibes, romance and death. I was wrong, the vibe is different, but what connects these books is the immersion in a culture and traditions – in the case of “Rules for Ghosting” Jewish one. It is not just a romance either, it is also a book about grief and love, a story of family connections and legacy. It is also unapologetically queer. The main character is Ezra Freeman, a Jewish trans man who can see ghosts – rather unfortunate if your family owns a Jewish funeral parlour. He generally tries to avoid going there, until a monumental event at the family Passover forces him to step in. To make things complicated, he seems to have a crush on Jonathan, a recently bereaved son in law of the family connected to Freemans who volunteers in the said parlour. And there is also a ghost that doesn’t play by the rules. I really liked the quiet and steady rhythm of the book, slow burning romance, dealing with grief and disruptions of the family rhythms, and a deep immersion in Jewish rituals and ceremonies. The author writes about the customs surrounding death with thoughtful attention and care. Human life is precious and so are the relationships between family members, between communities – Jewish or queer – and between friends and loved ones. Shelly Jay Shore writes beautifully about love, grief and finding second chances, about finding yourself and being yourself, about family ties and how they can be broken or rebuilt, and legacies about human connections. It is much more than the romance, more like a family tale, a gentle humour softening the tones of sorrow and grief, and a slow, steady pace bringing the reader to the end.

4.5 stars rounded up Quietly beautiful, Rules For Ghosting was a warm hug and bittersweet surprise. I couldn't put it down and have so much happiness for these loving, flawed, wonderful characters. Ezra is a yoga teacher in job limbo, a doula who was raised in a funeral home, a bisexual trans man with a huge adorable dog named Sappho, and a fixer who can't seem to take the time to focus on their own selfcare. Oh, and they can also see ghosts... First, I have to say I was delighted by the excellent dialogue - all the conversations flow so smoothly, and the friends and family have such fun, sarcastic, and brutally realistic back and forths. This made the narrative flow really well and helped draw me in straight away. I especially liked the sibling dynamics, as it's just so comfortable and close knit. I was also impressed by the careful and loving attention to detail in terms of rituals. You can feel the importance tradition and culture has for the family, and it fits thematically as well with the book as a whole. The supernatural elements didn't play as big a role as I expected in this story, but the self healing, relationship building, and emotional journey of Ezra, Jonathan, and the others was so charming and raw that I didn't mind that the bigger questions about the ghosts never were addressed. Instead, I could focus on the weight of family baggage, toxic childhoods, crippling anxiety and struggles with self worth, flirtations, happy doggo moments, body dysmorphia, building support networks, and all the other incredible things this book explores. One thing that stuck out to me was that Ezra doesn't seem 27, nor do many of the others really seem to fit their respective ages. They behave much younger, and I kept forgetting they weren't college students. In some ways, Rules for Ghosting reminded me of Under the Whispering Door - grief and the afterlife play such a constant role in both, and the romance was so comforting and sweetly right that it made me sad and overjoyed all at once. This is a cozy, heartfelt, emotional ride that deserves a read, and I'm so glad to have picked it up.

This book is a bit deeper than the title makes it seem. I love the trans MC representation, I love the ghosts (the main one in particular) despite not typically liking books with ghosts in them. I love the Jewish family craziness and drama. I saw another reviewer use the term "parentified child" and I had never seen that term used before but this book definitely fits that term and I can relate to that in many ways so this book definitely resonated with me. I think Ezra is a wonderful character and I would love to know them in real life. It's hard to imagine that this is a debut novel as the author does such a wonderful job and has a knack for writing. This book is deep, heartwarming, charming, funny and a bit silly as well and I think it would appeal to many different readers. Thank you NetGalley, Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine | Dell and Shelly Jay Shore for access to the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

2.5 rounded up to 3 - Listened to the audiobook version. This was... fine. What I liked: - Some of the characters were very likeable, mainly our strange not-a-love-triangle, i.e., Ezra, Jonathan and Ben. These three were my favourite characters, and the dynamic between them also was. Jonathan is a gem, and needs to be protected at all costs. Ezra could have felt dramatic at times, but I could relate so hard to some of his struggles that I didn't mind at all. He's also precious. - The queer themes were handled with a lot of care and love for the community, and that was nice to read - The style of the writing, at times, made me regret not reading a digital version so I could highlight bits that struck me as well-writen - Petey Gibson, the VO artist who lent his voice to the book did a terrific job of making this more emotional than I think it would have felt otherwise. He nailed the narration, and deserves praise for this. What I didn't like: - Whoever did the advertising for this book needs to be fired. This was adverstised to me as a paranormal romance where the ghosts would have a huge place in the story, but most of the time, Ezra just avoids them entirely, so they're just there, and don't do anything. What this book is, is a deep-dive into Jewish burial rituals, family drama, with some romance, and a smidgeon of paranormal. Because the ghosts are NEVER properly addressed. - Becca's hissy fit and tantrum past the mid-point. She was horrible at that moment, and I absolutely hated the fact that the author decided to make it seem like what she did was fine, because then she accidentally blew herself up and set the house on fire. What she did is NOT okay just because she almost died. Ezra is an idiot for telling her what she did was fine, because it was NOT. At least she realised it afterwards and apologised for it, but still. I didn't like that her behaviour was just brushed under the carpet because, whoops, she almost died. No. Hold your characters accountable for their mistakes. - Sometimes we'd get lost into details. There were many scenes that felt very wholesome and that contributed to Ezra's overall healing, but they were too long. So even though it was interesting, and I suspect Petey Gibson, who is reading the audiobook, contributed a lot to making these scenes poignant and emotional, and made me more invested than I would have been if I had been reading them on paper/digitally. So - overall a very mixed bag. I clearly am not the target audience for this, but I didn't have a bad time reading it at all. It's just absolutely not what I would have chosen to pick for myself.