This book is an honest, heartfelt and relatable journey by the author, Lorraine, about losing her mother to dementia first, and ultimately to death, and then dealing with the immediate aftermath and introspection. Losing a parent is something that everybody has to come to terms with sooner or later. In the case of dementia though it is more complex as the parent starts to lose themselves and the child has to evolve into becoming the caregiver to their parent, who may become only a shadow of who they were originally. Lorraine expresses some of this beautifully in “I lost my mum twice” and “A difficult journey”. While the grief of loss is very evident in some of the poems, there is nothing maudlin about this collection. Lorraine uses humour to capture some of the challenges of caring for her mother, such as “Carry on watching”, which describes her mother watching the same selections of her favourite TV series over and over again, or in “A cup of tea and a fag please“ where she writes about “finding sandwiches, wrapped in tissue paper, down the chair arm Initially seems gross, but after a time, can acquire, a certain charm!”. Other poems are gorgeously nostalgic when she writes about her mother and other cherished childhood memories. My personal favourite is “Mum’s pearls”. I think every mum of a certain era had a set of pearls that we admired as children. As somebody whose mother is also suffering from advanced dementia, this book struck a lot of chords with me. I think it will do with many other people as well, particularly if they are facing their own battle with dementia, either as sufferers themselves or as family members or caregivers.

Greg Watkin For anyone traversing the undulating trail of accompanying a loved one on their journey through dementia, this book will resonate. It does not shower the reader with generalisations that just don’t fit, or with platitudes that ring hollow. It is an account of the author discovering the rough terrain of being with a loved one who is slowly being lost on the journey. The pain is real and the loss is tangible. And while each soul affected with this tragic cruel thief that is dementia has a different journey, there are common stops along the way. Lorraine captures these moments in a manner that allows us paint the picture in our head. I particularly appreciate the comment in her forward “I can guarantee, that you, your loved one, and those around, will at times all disagree. On everything from feeding cups and ready meals, to what they watch on television.” This is a collection of poems written by someone who knows the journey, someone who appreciates each journey is unique, and that each step is taken with courage, love and compassion. Even the titles of Lorraine’s poems are an insight in themselves. “Lavender Smellories” is such a perfect title. If you are looking for a collection of poems where you will immediately identify your favourite, stop before you turn open the cover. This will be more of a reference book where each step will be highlighted and so depending on where your mind takes you on any given day, there will be something here to resonate within your soul. The collection takes us delicately and sensitively through the journey of living with dementia and highlights milestones along the way. IT reassures us we are not alone, despite feeling the stark isolation of watching someone fade away while still with us. “The House Clearing” perfectly captures the conflicting feelings we all have at this stage of bereavement. It has an honesty and authenticity that can only come with living through the experience. The way Lorraine draws humour from the tragedy is heartening. In particular her references to “squirreling food away”. It seems fitting in such a collection to include many of Lorraine’s own fond memories. Poignant, emotional and sobering, yet clearly the foundations of her own self. And yet, this collection has a positive, recurrent theme. Live the “now”, appreciate the present and all that is with you each moment. Tomorrow is promised to no one