Intimacy: A field guide to finding connection and feeling your deep desires

Paperback Published on: 04/06/2026
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Synopsis

From the initial spark of attraction when your eyes first meet, to spontaneously dancing together in the kitchen and falling asleep side by side - how do we create those intimate moments of connection?

How we see sex and intimacy portrayed on screen has profound effects on how we learn to love each other, but before Ita O'Brien, no-one was thinking about it. After a lifetime of working in film and TV and seeing its abuses first-hand, Ita decided to change how we portray intimacy for good.

Now, as Intimacy Coordinator on productions including Normal People, Sex Education and I May Destroy You, Ita has transformed the way we see and talk about sex in pop-culture. Here, Ita guides us through how she helps actors create authentic sex scenes, and how we can use those techniques to rebuild a deeper and healthier connection with our bodies, create a safe space for exploration, and rethink how we navigate sex and intimacy in our own lives - at home, in our closest relationships - and in society as a whole.

Full of behind-the-scenes stories from her work on set, Intimacy is a call for us to rethink how we navigate ourselves and each other, not just through our words, but through our bodies and actions, too.

Publisher information

  • Publisher: Ebury Publishing
  • ISBN: 9781529954050
  • Number of pages: 384
  • Dimensions: 197 x 127 x 26 mm
  • Weight: 266g
  • Languages: English

Customer Reviews

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Intimacy
Well-researched, useful guide to enhancing intimacy
This book was much more substantial than I’d expected. Written by an industry-leading Intimacy Coordinator who created the ‘Intimacy On Set Guidelines’, th... READ MORE
Heather E-T
Intimacy
Informative and insightful
Thank you to the publishers and NetGalley for the ARC of this book. This took me a while to read: I felt that I had to be in a certain frame of mind to... READ MORE
L Hubb
Intimacy
Five stars!
Intimacy by Ita O’Brien is an insightful and thought-provoking book that completely changed the way I think about connection, desire and communication. O’B... READ MORE
The Secret Book Review
Intimacy
An interesting and informative book
This is an interesting, informative, practical book about intimacy. It describes history, culture and the experiences of the writer; Ita O'Brien, through h... READ MORE
Sharon Adair
Intimacy
This book will smash preconceptions
This book will smash preconceptions. Lifting the lid on what different ages perceive what their peers find acceptable sexual conduct and issues around co... READ MORE
Helen Wilkinson
Intimacy
Informative professional biography
Grateful ARC recipient What an interesting and informative book. I must admit I had never given much consideration to how intimate scenes are planned fo... READ MORE
Marion McDonald
This reviewer received a free of charge product for review.